I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
