is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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