He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
