the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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