remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
