There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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