I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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