hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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