I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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