I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love you. Go after that dick
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
