Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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