Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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