WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
