and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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