Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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