im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
