She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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