my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
