she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
