Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I want a musical about memes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
