I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
