what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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