im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
