Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
