Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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