What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
