just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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