i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
