I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
