If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize