I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
