Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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