Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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