i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
