one might say we're banned from that church
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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