If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
