Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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