We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
