sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I love you. Go after that dick
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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