goodnight i made you a song goodbye
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
