i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
