so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
