I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
