Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She even gives head with a lisp.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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