Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
