the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
