we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
