took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
