I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
