your thong is hanging out like whoa
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
