I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
