She's JV to your varsity
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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