i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
