dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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