on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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