If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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