I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize