i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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