so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
