so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize