he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
