fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
