Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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