Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
