Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
